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| Smoke-free Day #1 : Today marks the start of a brand new me. ♡ |
| Wednesday, November 4, 2009, 9:09 AM |
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Today marks the start of a brand new me. Smoke-free. ♡
It was about a decade ago that I had my first stick. Still vividly remembering the scenario, how I had bugged my reluctant friend for that virgin killing puff. Wrong move.
I didn't get myself addicted at that time, but I had allowed myself to continue on for a couple weeks, purely out of fun. I thought it was nifty, for a defiant like me. Fortunately it all ended shortly. And come to think of it, cigarettes then was only S$2.50 for a small pack.
As for how I picked up the sticks again years later, I have no idea. I was around 16 odd. (It completely pissed my bestie off but that was no longer of any importance since she turned into a smoker some time after, which I don't know when nor how.) This time round, I got myself hooked. Frankly, I had never considered myself addicted because there was never an urge to smoke, nor do I find the need of it. It was out of habit as I get bored if I wasn't burning a stick. With that thought in mind, quitting was never in consideration. I believed I can simply stop if I want to. And while I am still enjoying the puffs, why quit?
Years passed. I promoted myself from social-smoking to a regular smoker. And before long, I had graduated into a chain-smoker.
My first serious attempt on quitting was beginning of this year, and I had succesfully kept it going on for a month or so until I met an old flame and started hanging out with him. He contributed nothing into my quitting journey and instead, offered me back into a smoker's life. I don't know what convinced me to be with him but that was obviously one of the hugest worst mistake ever.
Not smoking for an entire month resulted in heavier smoking the moment I picked up again. I had missed smoking. And this went on for months, until today, the day I set my mind for a second try, going smoke-free. You don't have to ask what made me, because I don't know. It just popped in. Honestly, this is going to be extremely arduous. Chain-smoking of up to 6 sticks an hour to a complete nothing overnight can be potentially killing. But with a determined and stubborn nature, I am going to stick to this.
Lastly, thanks all for the support and motivation to my start of smoke-free days. You don't know how much they are appreciated.
Loves. ♡
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the little odd cow
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